Is This Thing On?

Wow, let me check out for a bit huh?  As you have read previously, life around here has not been the easiest and I am having to start fresh.  Do I even have to mention how hard that can be?  It really does suck the life straight out of you no matter how happy of a person you are.  And I think my tank is going on empty.  but, I am pushing myself to move on.  Reassessing life can be difficult but I have faith that everything happens for a reason and I will be a better person because of it.  hat being said, life has continued to happen around here.  As much as I have tried to hide in my lonely hole and talk to no one, life has had to continue on.  So, lets catch up a little huh?

A couple weekends ago I was asked to come and help out at an Epilepsy event, to help out at the Danny Did Foundation table.  Danny Did is the amazing foundation that helped us get our Emfit movement monitor.  And not only that, they have been by our side during this new life we live with my oldest.  If you don't know who they are or what they do, please take a moment to stop by their page.  They are an amazing family doing amazing things all in the name of their amazing boy who was taken off this earth too soon.  At this event, I was finally able to meet Cindy and her amazing family face to face.  Cindy has a son named Robert who also has Epilepsy.  He has a dog named Boomer who is always with him and is by far the most amazing dog I have ever met.  And let me say this, when we first got there (after being able to finally hug Cindy), I told her husband Tom that Cass may be a little leery of Boomer, she was attacked by a dog at 3 and has never taken to dogs since.  As I say this, she sits down next to him and he puts his head on her lap.  I don't think they were far form one another the whole day.  Tom looked at me and said "so she doesn't like dogs huh?"  Boomer is a special boy!!!  Not only did I get to help out and spread the word about Epilepsy and SUDEP, I was asked to speak on my personal experience with the Danny Did Foundation.  As I was speaking, I saw some tears and people later thanked me for my words, I am so honored to be able to help in any way I can.  They have done so much for em and my family, I don't feel like any words can ever re-pay what they gave to me!  Here is Cindy, her son Robert, Boomer, Cass and myself, I cannot wait to see them again soon!

The day did not stop there.  After leaving, we were excited because while we were gone, one of our dear friends had come home from Afghanistan.  Sal Vaccaro had been serving for the past several months.  His mom was here and when we got home, we got to give out big hugs, the girls were so excited!!!

We were able to spend some good time with them, we had never met his mother Mary and she was nothing less than a welcomed addition to the family!  My girls loved having here here just as much as I did.  It is always nice to have another woman to talk to!  We even got to take them to some of our favorite spots and we may have convinced Sal to take my girls on this......

Momma doesn't do heights or things that dangle from high places so I stayed on flat land.  Almost a week later, we got to celebrate the birthday of my oldest, she turned 9!!!  How did she grow up so fast?!  I look back to last years post and wonder how one child can grow up so much in one year!!!  She seemed so little then and she still does now, however, she didn't want one single toy this year.  Instead, she wanted clothes, make-up, cd's, gum.......I must admit,spending $1 for gum and getting to mark something off her list seemed way easier than $25 for some toy she will only play with for a small amount of time.  That was indeed good news :)  It is all so very strange though.  And when asked what she wanted to do, she only wanted to have one friend over and to go out and have fun.  So, fun it was.  We took her and a friend down to Downtown Disney and they got to get their hair done.........

By the way, the sweet red head who is doing her make-up, she has Epilepsy.  While Cass was getting her hair done, she keep shaking a little and staring so I kept asking if she was feeling ok.  Obviously, after asking a good 5 times, they asked if something was wrong.  I mentioned she had Epilepsy and I just wanted to make sure she wasn't overwhelmed and possibly having a seizure.  That is when they told me of one of their friends who works there and called her over.  She talked to me for a while, about her journey with Epilepsy, I told her about Cass and she asked if she could help "work on her" and maybe chat.  She basically talked to her about her experience growing up with Epilepsy and how bright her future can be.  And she wasn't the only one employed in that store that has Epilepsy, there was another girl too.  Can I just say how awesome Disney is?!  As much as people don't want to discriminate, ti does happen and to think that someone you hire could possibly have a seizure, it may turn people away.  This place did not, so if you ever happen to go by Downtown Disney, stop by the Disney 365 store, they are pretty amazing people!!!!

After getting all pretty, the girls were hungry and when at Downtown Disney, the coolest place to be is Rainforest Cafe.  Ok, some may concur that it is the coolest however, it is the only place my kids never get bored at.  I actually get to eat my meal because the kids love being there.  And just like last year, the night ended with some fireworks and a nice quiet car ride home since every kid is passed out. 

So as you can see, things may be drastically changing around here and life may be hard, but things keep moving.  I do see the blessings in my life and I feel extremely blessed, and it is in those hard moments that I cling to these times!!!!!  Thank you all for your thoughts and prayers, they mean more than you know!!!!

Life Help

I have never thought of myself as weak, I feel like I am a strong woman and have strong opinions.  I guess that's why I feel so helpless right now.  I will not go into detail as to what is going on, this is obvious a very public forum and while I don't mind people knowing some parts of my life, I don't want my daughters getting ahold of this specific post when they get older.  Letting them know details will have to wait for a more private conversation.  That being said, I feel like I have had the rug pulled out form under me and I don't know how to get back up.  I have had things thrown my way for a while now and feel like I have handled it well and with dignity but even though I may have seen something like this coming, it has hit me harder than I ever imagined.  Has anyone ever been there?  I have always been a happy person who loves her friends and craves that time.  Right now I feel like secluding myself and not doing a thing.  I am not sleeping, I eat only to have it not stay down and doing anything, even one load of laundry feels like I am running a marathon.  I know some people will call this depressive behavior, I do not feel like I am depressed.  I do find happiness, how can you not when you have 3 beautiful children to take care of?  Yes it is work, but they are my world and they can put a smile on my face in the worst of situations.  However, I still feel it.  I feel like it is a shadow hiding and lying in wait until the perfect time.  Like the feeling you are being watched, ti is uncomfortable and then it pounces and reminds you of how bad it is.  I don't know 100% why I am sharing this and I promise I will not be making this blog sad like this form now on.  But blogging is supposed to be real right?  That way people can come and learn something or possibly give some advice because they have been there.  So, that is what I ask.  Has anyone been there?  How do you pick yourself up and try to put yourself back together when you feel shattered into 1,000 pieces?!

Blessed Union

I may be sappy but I get teary eyed just thinking of weddings.  If I could pull off being a wedding crasher, I would totally do it.  Luckily this weekend, I did not have to.  One of my best friends was getting married and I was actually invited :)  It was out at a lake here and though the weather wasn't perfect, the ceremony and reception sure were.  The bride was gorgeous...........

The groom waited anxiously.........

A couple of tear filled vows later, they were married......

It is hard to believe I am old enough to have all of my friends getting married.  Then again, I have three kids so I am not that young, lol, I try not to think about that too often, I am young at heart at least.  The best things about weddings, after the joyous ceremony, it is time to let loose and have some fun.

Congratulations Bre and Chuck.  Your wedding was as beautiful as the two of you.  I wish you many many years of wedded bliss and cant wait until you start having babies and catch up to me :)

Twins?

Man I wish I had a picture of myself at almost 9 to put on here.  It seems like everywhere I go, if someone knows my oldest daughter, they automatically know I am her mom.  I get tons of "hi Cassidy's mom" and "are you Cassidy's mom?"  This morning was no different.  My oldest is in a school play and this morning was her very first performance so naturally, I had to be there.  I was sitting in a chair in the back of the room with the other two little ones and a lady walked by, stopped and walked back and little and said "you MUST be Cassidy's mom!!!"......."Yes, yes I am"......"Of course you are, she looks exactly like you!!!"  I think that all of my kids resemble me, they all have my coloring and eyes but my oldest, it is a little uncanny.  Years ago when their father was on deployment, he came back and was looking through pictures and held up one and asked where I had taken the girls.  It was a picture of me.  Granted, the coloring and the fact that I was sitting in a station wagon without a seatbelt should have given it away, he isnt the brightest crayon in the box.  But it is nutty how much she looks like me.  It is a little annoying getting recognized by people who I may not even know, there was one guy I had a full on conversation with in the commissary who apparently knew my daughter form school or something and somehow assumed through looks I was her mom, I still have no clue who he was but man did he know me.  In the end though, it makes me smile.  I joke around with her and sometimes have her look me in the eye and I tell her "Cass, this (hands all up in the face), this is what your future holds, muahahahahahahah", I never said my kids think I am sane.  But as I was begining to say, I love it to be truthful.  I love having my girl look like me and am so proud to be her momma.  I am in all srts of denial that she is turning 9 this month, how on earth did she become so old?  Her last year in her single didgits.........sigh..........so, if you know my daughter, feel free to know me too, and vice versa, we are twins after all.  And Lord, please let me still look like her when I am 40 or older, that would be a GREAT compliment :)

Chicken and Waffles

I know that it is a California thing but I think every one knows about Roscie's Chicken and Waffles right?  Isnt it in a couple of movies or something?  I dont know, maybe I am living in my California bubble.  When I went to college, we had a Roscoe's not too far from us and everyone would go and I never got to go.  I have always wanted to go and see what all the hoopla was about but I live a little further now and dont see driving that far just to eat.  Then, like a little miracle, we found out they had more locations and one happened to be 5 minutes from my moms house.  Needless to say, we went over the weekend.  It had to be a happening place, they even had security to control the crowd (kind of crazy).  But, while we waited we got to sit in their lounge area.  It was a cute little room that was dimly lit and had pretty pictures on the wall.  My oldest talked about the fancy seats......wooden chairs with greyish fake sillk covers, the girl knows her fancy :)  She got even more excited when we ordered drinks while we waited and she got her sprite like this....

And her sister got her strawberry lemonade like this.............

And not to be out done just because she had a sippy cup, our girl got just the fruit and it came like this.......

We did have a little bit of a long wait, it was also around noon on a Sunday so it is to be expected.  But, they finally called our number and we got to go into the other side of the restaurant.  I have to say, the lounge is the complete opposite of the actual restaurant.  It was more like a tiny simple diner versus the silk covered dimly lit room with umbrella drinks.  We asked our waiter what most people ordered and I knew it was a stupid question but he still gave me  the "chicken and waffles" answer, however he did do it with a "this is a stupid question" look.  So, we did.  Chicken and waffles all around and my mom, God love her, ordered good ol chicken livers (do you sense I am not a huge fan?).  We were shocked when it came out.  My order alone contained a half of a chicken and my moms livers were piled high on a huge plate.  Luckily my middle girl, who rarely eats more than a few bites, ate one whole plus another half of a waffle, a huge drumstick and an egg, she was going a little nuts on the chicken and waffles!!!!  I dont know if I would go back and stand in that huge line, my kids werent enjoying the wait too much, but maybe if they accept reservations or we can go on an "off" time.  Anyways, if you ever see one and havent eaten there before, I suggest you go in and try it at least once!