Saturday, October 13, 2012

Protecting Your Child

These past couple of weeks have been crazy.  Not only am I now enrolled in school 4 days a week, an hour from home (which makes for a long night of driving with sleepy kids), but I have had to go to battle with my middle child's school.  I never thought I would ever have to battle for my child in this way and it makes me sick to think that this kind of thing can happen.  My mom always told me growing up that I like to see the good in people too much and that I need to wake up to the reality that not everyone is good and to think the worst before the best.  I never took her advice because seriously, who wants to walk around all the time thinking the worst in the human race, isn't it better to think the best in people and then if the worst happens, you deal with it as such?  These last 2 weeks have truly tested me.

Without going into too much detail, my middle child was put in a first grade class with a teacher that I was warned about from the beginning.  She is tough, most kids and parents don't like her and she is "an acquired taste".  I decided to try it out without worrying too much, maybe I would be the 1% who actually liked her.  Little did I know how wrong I would be.  It started out with notes every single day explaining my child's bad behavior and how she was not "good".  It then went to threats if work was not done, to her denying her snack, keeping her in from recess, it just kept getting worse.  I got a call one day from the Vice Principal saying that she had her in the office because she had "hit 2 kids".  She said "she hit 2 kids, well, not hit, she was actually just swinging her arms and accidentally hit two kids while doing that".  I get that hitting kids no matter how it is done is wrong but they had her escorted from the playground and yelled at her in the office.  For accidentally swinging her arms into 2 kids??  I told them I appreciate them telling her that is wrong but shouldn't the lesson be that you need to be more aware of your surroundings and not punishment for "fighting" (fighting was the word they used on the slip they sent home that I refused to sign until it was fixed).  They said they agree it is not fighting but had to deal with her in such.  And who was at the center of it all?  Her lovely teacher.  After speaking to the principal I was told I need to make another conference (this would be the second one) with the teacher to talk.  When I went to her classroom she was so rude and disrespectful toward me.  I decided that was enough.  I would not be getting anywhere with this lady.  I promptly waked to the office, explained my feelings and asked that she be transferred to another class.  I was met with such hostility, refusal to help me or my child and then it got worse.  I had been on my facebook page (which is private) and had told of the situation to ask my friends how to deal with this.  Little did I know that one of my "friends" loved this teacher and decided to call her to let her know I was bullying her online and saying horrible things about her.  The funny thing is, I was only explaining what had happened to my 6 year old child and if that is taken as "saying horrible things", then maybe the teacher should not be doing these horrible things.  The school was upset that I would do such a thing to this teacher.  Are you kidding me?  She is bullying my child, not the other way around.  After a week of absence and numerous talks with the super intendant, we finally got her transferred to another class.  It was not without them letting me know how cruel I am and how it is the child, not the teacher who has done wrong and that will be proven when she starts her new class and nothing changes.  Well, it has been a week and I feel like pointing out that her week has been fabulous.  Her teacher is amazing, she absolutely loves my child and vice versa.  She has had nothing but nice things to say and one time she said them in the presence of the other teacher who stood arms crossed with a pissed off look on her face. 

I think ti is ridiculous that schools are supposed to be a safe place for kids to go and yet hey allow people like this women to bully them and hurt them emotionally.  They were so quick to defend this woman even hen I had written statements from other parents who had gone through the same thing.  Shouldn't they be protecting the child and making sure they are in a safe learning environment?  It is truly heart breaking because I am sure this is not the only school this is happening in.  And why is it that the parent is made to feel like crap when they decide to stand up for their child?  Isn't that my job?  I think we should have more parents standing up and not sitting on the side lines, maybe then people will realize this is not ok.

My rant is over and there has been a lot of stress taken off of my heavy shoulders.  I would like to thank all of my friends who took the time to call or write me and let me know that what I was doing was great and to keep my head up and push forward.  This was starting to break me and your kind words, prayers and love sent my way was definitely felt and accepted.  A good friend of mine write to me after I mentioned how "life sucks", she said "life does not suck, it is beautiful, situations suck", that has stuck in my head and even though I did it before, I now like to drive and look around at the beauty of this life and be thankful for all that I have.

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